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Your putting that where, Doc? January 25, 2007

Posted by jaxxduece in Donating Kidney.
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I plan on donating my kidney to my brother-in-law, Shaun. He is a great guy, and I am in very good health, so why not.  I plan on posting a blog about the journey to this point at another time, so Ill sum up real quick what is going on : Baylor Hospital needed me to be checked out by another urologist to find out why I have a minut amount of blood in my urine.  So I go see my local pee doctor, and he detects a very small amount of blood, but he says that is normal with alot of people but he wants to make sure there is nothing wrong with my blatter. We already did an MRI in Dallas, but there is only so much an xray can pick up. Dr. Beard procedes to tell me there is only one way to really check a blatter, which is a cystoscopy.

Ingredients for a cystoscopy:

1. a very cold spray of some sort

2. a clamp

3. a long, pastic-like tube

4. a syringe jammed pack with some kind of numbing goo

5. a very small camera (and the size of the camera doesnt matter, assholes)

6. a scared penis trying to remember how cold it was outside so he could just disappear.

So a female nurse sprays my bits with a very cold numbing spray, just so she can jam a (shiver…) syringe into my johnson and shoot it up with a numbing goo (reminded me of aloe vera, the clear kind). I sit there for about 15 minutes letting that set, so I am good and scared by now. Doc comes in, picks up tube, and starts small talking me, like Im gonna forget that I am about to get the plastic tube shoved into my penis hole. Then comes camera, and he starts poking around. Good news I have a clean bill of health, which is real nice as far as  the kidney donation goes, but we will have to wait and find out more about that later. Once everything was done, I took a deep breath and thanked all the Gods that it was done, but I jumped the gun a bit. All of sudden, without my knowledge…bam!!!…rectal exam. I tell you what, there is very few things as humbling as having those two things done to you within the span of 20 minutes. When it was all said and done, and you are just standing there in your hospital nightie, with wierd dick and ass goo creaping out of you, its hard to regain a sense of self. You are a shell of a man. Now, I didnt mind doing it because it was for a good cause and its nice to now that I am in good health in that region, but……damn…….